One of my closest friends works for a huge company. She always received excellent evaluations. A few months after her 25-year work anniversary, her manager handed her something and said, “By the way, I keep forgetting to give this to you.” She felt disappointed and unappreciated.
Have you ever given your all but did not receive the reward you sought? Pursuing a reward and having our efforts go unrecognized can be disheartening. It is gratifying when others let it be known that our contribution made a difference. In previous articles, I introduced three of the four significant categories of fear: Relationships, Reputation and Responsibilities. Now it’s time for me to present the last one: Rewards. Yes, we can have anxieties about rewards. Curious? Let’s start by learning more about these fears.
Reward Fears
As I wrote this article, my eyes glanced around my office at my MBA degree, coaching certifications, and leadership awards. Feelings of pride rose. Then I thought about some that were missing. Those that I was fearful to pursue or never received.
Reward fears emerge when we are apprehensive about acquiring a desired outcome or believe what we have earned may be withheld, taken away, or decreased in value. It could be a higher position, more significant influence, or autonomy. My close friend felt the reward she sought, recognition for her many years of exemplary service, was of little value when finally received.
Causes
Despite our best efforts, changes in leadership, company direction, or qualifications could result in potential rewards being minimized or denied. Health or family concerns may suddenly arise, diminishing our ability to reach the finish line. Maybe someone we depended on may no longer be able to assist. Or it just may be our doubts.
Several years ago, I heard about an award I believed was unobtainable. Without my knowledge, someone submitted my name. I was mortified that the person would discover I wasn’t qualified. When I received the leadership award, I was shocked. Yes, reward fears have a strong connection with our doubts.
Impact
After receiving the award, doubts resurfaced again. Along with the recognition came increased expectations from others. Their congratulatory comments included, “I can’t wait to see what you do next.” Once received, our desire for a reward, such as a promotion, can morph into questioning our abilities. Do you ever wonder if you could live up to certain expectations?
On the one hand, if we rise above our anxieties, we may feel a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment besides the possibility of obtaining the reward. Conversely, frustration and disappointment may surface if we give up because we think the reward is unobtainable. Regardless of the reason we might not achieve our desired goal, our self-worth often takes a hit. Below is a technique to help you empower your mind to overpower the emotions surrounding reward fears.
Fearsome Foursome Strategies – Part 4
First, reflect on why a particular reward is important and what achieving it could mean. Contemplate the types of tangible and intangible prizes you could obtain. Financial compensation may quickly come to mind. However, dig deeper and be more expansive. Include both external and internal recognition. Also, calculate how the outcome can help fulfill today’s needs and tomorrow’s vision.
Second, reflect on the steps you must take to create forward movement. For instance, if one of your goals is to be invited to join a leadership team, you might need to make them aware of your presence and worth. Building or strengthening your relationship with a team member could be one of the steps. Don’t wait until you have achieved the award to celebrate. Always remember there are several prizes along the way to your desired outcome. Never cheat yourself out of what they mean.
Third, fill in the blanks to complete the following statement before pursuing your reward. When I accomplish a specific, measurable reward, I want to be celebrated in this way (public/private, email/meeting). Of course, how we receive awards or recognition is not always in our control. However, sharing this information and why it is important to you with those with authority may get you closer to what you want.
In conclusion, I hope learning about the Fearsome Foursome: Relationships, Reputation, Responsibilities and Rewards has given you new or additional insight. You can apply the strategies and techniques this four-part series shares to many professional and personal situations. When you discover what is beneath your anxieties, choosing how to respond provides a pathway from simply reacting to emotions to rational thoughts and accelerated success.
