Have you ever seen a Spiderman movie? What does Spiderman’s web have to do with doubts? When he hurls his web, people get tangled up and stop in their tracks. No matter how we try to avoid or push aside fears or misgivings, they will eventually catch up with us. Even when we attempt to replace them with empowering thoughts, they return. Why? Because we have never addressed them. They are right below the surface, waiting to burst free and wreak havoc on our goals.
How do we get rid of these pesky doubts? We let them out of our figurative closets. This article, the ninth in the series, continues to introduce the various Change Proficiencies, which are different techniques and strategies required to facilitate successful changes. In the last article, “Leaders – Choose Wisely,” I shared how to handle requests from colleagues, clients or supervisors in a way that supports your timetable. This article will present the “Partner with Doubt” tool to stop doubt from negatively impacting your success.
What it Mean to “Partner With Doubt”
To “Partner with Doubt” is to clarify, analyze and neutralize doubts that could interfere with your effectiveness. It might be hard to embrace the concept of teaming up with doubt when we might prefer to avoid it entirely. It is similar to how many of us have been on teams where we had to partner with individuals that made working together difficult. But, we still worked with them because it was necessary to accomplish our goal.
Similarly, pretending your uncertainty does not exist or shoving it into your unconscious mind is like focusing on the visible iceberg and ignoring the ice below the surface. You must get into the water and up close and personal with your doubts to move forward.
Why You Must “Partner with Doubt”
Many of us have as much success evading our own limiting beliefs as criminals do avoiding Spiderman’s web. As our businesses and careers change and evolve, doubts are bound to surface. When we come face-to-face with things we have never done, areas where we are uncomfortable or increasingly complex situations, anxiety and uncertainty may pop up like unwanted weeds.
If we do not partner with our doubts, they will slow down our progress or derail us when we least expect it. Recently, a major long-term client suddenly decided to downsize and no longer needed my services. Initially, I believed that my primary doubt was whether my business could rebound quickly enough to weather the sudden substantial reduction in revenue. After digging deeper, I exposed the truth: I doubted others would continue to view me as a success. Sometimes, we may allow uncertainty to protect us from the discomfort of our truths. Have you ever questioned your ability to achieve something because of doubts?
How You Can “Partner with Doubt”
To “Partner with Doubt,” you must expose and explore doubts and then defend and strengthen your position.
Expose Doubt
Perform a thorough examination of what is at the root of one of your doubts. Often, exposure can make one feel vulnerable, and peeling back the layers of what is really underneath our fears can make us feel unprotected. However, whether we uncover the truth or not, it is still the truth, and its existence can undermine our ability to achieve what is possible.
Explore Doubt
Listen intently to your mind as doubt reveals why you should believe its version of the truth. Pretend you are a court reporter taking notes without bias or judgment, and write down what surfaces. Various past situations may arise as you reflect on the “evidence” behind your doubts. Perhaps these were circumstances where what you did or did not do created undesirable results. During the listening process, be careful not to justify or defend your position.
Defend and Strengthen Position
Imagine you are a defense attorney with limited or weak evidence. Would you give up? No! To strengthen your position against doubt, aggressively gather whatever proof you can find that the doubts are not valid. Also gather key witnesses, individuals who have observed you overcome obstacles despite the odds or get back up after stumbling over a hurdle.
Your life experiences provide a wealth of evidence of times you accomplished your goals despite doubts. Ask yourself, who did I have to become to rise above that situation? How can I become that person now?
Does what happened in the past define your ability to achieve your dreams now? No! When faced with doubts, the best way to neutralize them is to expose what lies at the core, explore what fuels them and then defend and strengthen your position. When you do that, you will untangle yourself from doubts and move forward toward your goals with greater confidence.
The next article will introduce another Change Proficiency tool.
