When faced with a change, leaders frequently must address critical concerns that may require a wide range of adjustments with their teams, customers, vendors and other stakeholders. The loss of a valuable employee, new customer expectations or vendors crippled by their supply chain can impact deadlines. Our confidence may begin to erode, and inner turmoil could begin to impair vital communication and decisions.
While we may not have had control over what changed, we can eliminate behaviors that interfere with desired outcomes. In this article, I will pair the second stage of change, Accept, with the Change Proficiencies “Be Present” and “Stand on Truths,” to help you communicate and make decisions more effectively during transitions.
Accept (Second Stage of Change)
In the Accept stage, you acknowledge that what has transpired cannot be changed and, in some cases, might be irreversible. Perhaps your teams’ size has shrunk, resources are limited or the adoption of new procedures creates additional burdens. During this stage, you need to make a conscious choice to accept that the old circumstances no longer exist. However, it is not necessary to think about all of the potential ramifications. As time passes, your willingness and ability to make change-related decisions will create forward movement. Likewise, increased awareness of emotions that drain your energy motivates you to begin to manage their impact.
As you continue to proceed through uncharted territory related to your change, it is natural to grieve the loss of stability. Under pressure, you may find it difficult to remain positive and focused during essential conversations. That is where the Change Proficiencies “Be Present” and “Stand on Truths” can play a key role by providing techniques to ease the transition.
Change Proficiency: Be Present
There were times when a manager or a customer demanded, “I need to speak with you now,” and I would internally cringe. As uncertainty gripped my heart, my thoughts flickered like a light switch, disconnecting me from being fully present during the conversation. Sometimes, we might not be able to engage fully in a discussion because of doubts or fears. Have you ever had disquieting thoughts invade your mind during a serious conversation?
To “Be Present” is a technique that helps you focus your thoughts, emotions, actions and energy singularly on the specific conversation at hand. Advanced preparation is required. Similar to how accomplished athletes improve by studying their opponents’ previous games and potential weaknesses, you will need to pre- play the discussion through role-playing. Your primary intention is to become acutely aware of self-limiting beliefs, fears and anything else that could produce an inner distraction and diminish the chances of successful outcomes. Although you can role-play alone, practicing with someone you trust is preferable. If time allows, rehearse several times to uncover additional insight.
After role-playing, it is time for a field test. Arrange several somewhat contentious but low- pressure interactions. During the discussion, when unproductive thoughts surface, silently and powerfully say, “Be Present.” Over time, you will discern less internal disruptive chatter during conversations. The second tool, “Stand on Truths,” will help you gain clarity to make better decisions.
Change Proficiency: Stand on Truths
As a leader, there have been times when I desired success for a team member more than their performance demonstrated they wanted. Despite the facts, I gave them numerous chances to improve until I finally had to let them go and accept the change it would mean. Decisions that do not have a foundation in truth, whether due to our judgment being clouded by personal preferences, unrealistic expectations or wishful thinking can derail progress.
The Change Proficiency “Stand on Truths” is a strategy used to realign outdated perceptions with new realities. Without the most accurate and current information, whether about how you view yourself, others or a challenge, your actions will fall short of the desired goal. In my example in the above paragraph, my assumption that the team member would eagerly grab the opportunity — and it was a great one — was based on what I would have done in that situation. In my earlier experience, internally cringing when someone demanded to speak with me, I erroneously allowed self-limiting beliefs to erode my confidence and override evidence of previous success in similar situations.
To “Stand on Truths,” you have to challenge and validate or rectify thoughts or beliefs that may be outdated or counterproductive. Afterward, you must consciously choose your new or reaffirmed path. You might think that the latter action would occur naturally, but it often does not. After the decision is made, you need to execute the plan. Throughout implementation, conscious choices, such as reversal of unrealistic timetables or decisions, strengthening boundaries or changing how you work and with whom, will be required to support your new direction.
When we arrive at the “Accept” stage of change, your increased awareness and willingness to begin to face current and potential difficulties and consequences help prepare you for forward movement. Practice the Change Proficiency “Be Present” to minimize internal chatter during a conversation. Utilize “Stand On Truths” to update beliefs, boost confidence and make better decisions. Be patient with yourself and remember, a pilot takes incremental moves to plot a different course to arrive at a new destination. Give yourself the same grace.
Donna Johnson-Klonsky, MBA, PCC
DJ Consulting Services, Inc.
East Fishkill, New York 12533
djohnson@djcsfirm.com
(845)447-1037
